Journal Entry 10.10.23

I find I have less and less to write about grief and loss. Is it because I am succeeding at releasing myself from grief? Is it because I am blind? Is it because I have distracted myself enough not to notice it?

I still find I am angry at people’s ignorance and vanity. I am caught up in my own ego wanting to see myself in a certain light so it is not as if I am without attachment yet. But I feel free. I feel I can focus on other things outside myself instead of my own suffering every minute of the day. I watch peoples’ faces, I try to understand what they are telling me without words. It is easy this way. Go to a far flung place, put yourself in a situation where you are faced with heat and cold, and the risk of falling down a mountainside, where basic survival needs are paramount and life becomes very, very simple. Can that be replicated at home I wonder? Can my prayers and mantras help me? Can I simplify my life so that I focus on peoples’ faces and try and understand what they are telling me without words?

Or is it easy because these mountains are a holy place?