Journal Entry 12.2.23

The exodus begins. When we arrived home, the house was full. Our house sitter, full of joy and enthusiasm, and our friend who had picked us up at the airport stayed to visit while we returned from our jet lag; our souls catching up to our bodies. Their laughter and cooking and enthusiasm filled the house as we battled our fatigue and confusion. It felt like Christmas.

Then they began peeling off. First, my son and his friend, the house sitter, left to begin renovating my son’s new home, and tomorrow my friend to return to her life and family. I will be alone again. Alone with my dog in my house. I am filled with gratitude and sadness. I am trying to feel the community and abundance that I know I have, but I feel some doubt creep in. It has been a crowded and intense few months. I need the solitude to test my new found unattachment and solidity. I need the solitude to weave in all the threads I have unwoven and gathered for the past months. I need to see what is and not simply remember what was.