Journal Entry 9.23.23

The hardest thing to let go of…

…is the belief that I will never be loved. Not really, not for long, not in a deep, and meaningful way. I remain certain that I am not loved or even lovable and never will be. That is the hardest thread to let go of. I don’t know why. It doesn’t benefit me, but I cling to it as if it will protect me from the grief I have experienced over and over again. It doesn’t protect me and yet I cling like it is a life raft that will save my life..